Hi. I’m S. I’m 27. I’ve been “struggling” with eating disorders since I was 14. The only real struggle is that I hate bulimia and just want ana to rule my life like it used to.

I live with my boyfriend, J. We have had a really rocky time of it but have been together five years. I love him. Most of the time, but not sure I’ve ever really felt *in love* with him.
 
I’m obsessed with being perfect and work very hard at it. Perfect ana control. Perfect, clean home. Perfect nails and hair etc.I like controlling everything as much as I possibly can.

I just saw a picture on Facebook of a guy I dated on a brief hiatus from J. His name is B, and he was completely loaded, completely attractive, and completely into me. But then after we had sex, I asked if it was a relationship and he wasn’t ready to call it that even though he was saying he loved me? He also drunk dialed me a lot. I liked the idea of him more than I liked him, but it still cut me like a knife when I saw the picture of him with his new girlfriend just now.

I just want to be happy. Until then, there’s ana, which does make me happy in a lot of ways.
Not weighing myself right now, but will post stats soon. Somewhere in the 5’4″, 135-140 range. Obviously, I’ve been shit for a while.

Oh, and I came to Blogger cause of Xanga shutting down I loved it and had really good support on there. Hoping to find the same thing here.